A thought for a thought

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A. 

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed. 

With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat. 

When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . .. resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; . . .. it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . . . it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered. 

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.